3.15.11: The Second Time Around

It is so different the second time around when having children! I was much more relaxed in my pregnancy and felt less afraid of “what was going to happen”.  You wonder what it will be like with having two children, everyone tells you it is not double the work but ten times the work…so far it just feels like double the work but she is only six months. We are still in the honeymoon period…she isn’t crawling yet – but she is close!

With my first daughter, you feel so proud and want them to be making all the milestones and early even! I wanted to make sure that she was crawling, walking, talking at all the appropriate times and even encouraged her to hit these marks. The second time around…it’s different! You now know that as soon as they are crawling/walking that the honeymoon will officially be over.

I am definitely proud of the baby but I can’t believe that she is almost crawling already…she has been getting on her hands and knees and scooting backwards for a couple of weeks now! Everyone told me that the second one would do everything sooner than her sister, I just didn’t realize how much sooner! I realized the other night that the reason she must be doing everything faster. One she is in love with her big sister already and is trying to mimic and two, I have had to put her down on the floor much sooner and for longer periods than I did with my eldest.

How you can feel so different about the same milestones with your children? The first one you want them to do everything right away and the second one you want them to slow down. I think this might be some good insight for me to be cautious in my parenting of them.

Do you find yourself parenting your children differently, not just by who they are but by their birth position?

You can still travel with children…it’s just different.

My husband and I both have a love of traveling, it was one of the things we loved to do before we had children.  We traveled throughout Europe together and around the states. Then came our first daughter and we wondered to ourselves if our days of travel were going to soon be over.

We made a pact together that just because we had children we would not stop traveling and we both felt it was important to introduce our child(ren) to new cultures and expose them to people all over the world. Neither my husband nor I had traveled much as children and wanted it to be different for our girl(s) childhood.

We took the big plunge when our first daughter had just turned one. We headed off to Vietnam and Cambodia (my husband does business in Vietnam) so we were able to turn a business trip into a vacation. I have to admit I was nervous about traveling in Asia (I had not been before) but my husband had been countless times and was very comfortable with his surroundings. I thought the worse part would be the plane ride; it was 13 hours to Taipei and then a couple more into Saigon. I packed SO many things, but the only toy she wanted to play with was her Wikki Stix, which as a parent I thought they might be the greatest invention ever! Another tip: Only bring new toys (doesn’t have to be new from the store but new to the kid) and introduce them for the first time on the ride. We also got REALLY lucky and she slept for a good portion of the trip as well. I think this is one of the major benefits of traveling with the kiddies when they are younger.

We had an amazing time the three of us and we are talking about taking another trip next spring when our youngest daughter is over a year but less than 2 years. Don’t stop traveling because you have children, just change your attitude. It’s worth it!

Did I really just say that?

I always used to think that my mom was so crazy when she would call me by my sister’s name or even worse by one of the dog’s name. But now that I have reached motherhood myself, I realize that crazy doesn’t exactly explain it. As a mom, you have (at minimum) five to ten simultaneous thoughts going on in your head at all times. These of course range from (as I try and write this so many things just zinged through my head that I was temporarily rendered paralyzed), I digress. Did I feed the dog, the baby, the three year old? Does the dishwasher have clean or dirty dishes? Did I run it last night? Have I changed the baby’s diaper oh no, did I get the 3 year old on the potty yet? I probably don’t need to continue with this train of thought as I probably just got you spinning off in your own, did I remember to…

But as I was saying, how “crazy” my mom was and how the apple has now not fallen far from the tree. My sister and I would also laugh so hard when our mom would tell us to get into the bathroom and wash our teeth and brush our face…this would of course have us burst into hysterical, sometimes maniacal laughter that would then produce something even funnier out of our mom’s mouth! Now, you all know where this is going…I of course, being completely sane and never having a crazy moment (huge lie here) have never said something like this to my daughter! Just the other night I heard my husband chuckling as I said to her, “now get into the bathroom and wash your teeth and brush your face.” I looked at him like he was daft to be laughing at me until I realized what I had said….yes, I am officially a mom now.

There are postings all over about the silly words/phrases that your toddler and preschool age children say but what about the gem of quotes that we could trade with each other? I have said so many things to my daughter that I crack myself up. Just this morning, we were leaving a store and I had the baby on the cart and the three year old was walking next to me, I turned to her and in my mind I said, “hold onto the cart or my hand please.” That wasn’t exactly what came out, what I said was, “Hold onto the curb please.” Huh? The three year old looked at me like I had lost it and my Grandmother (who we had taken to the pharmacy) was giggling and shaking her head with that Grandmotherly fondness.

This is only going to get worse I think. And instead of being scared of it, I have decided to embrace it. I want to call out to all you mamas and instead of telling us the cutie saying your little one did, how about your mama ditty for the day. I know it will brighten my day!